Do you know that feeling of standing across the room from him, watching as he beckons you to his side? That feeling of dread and longing deep in the pit of your stomach that tells you not to go, even as it propels you forward?
This is not that feeling.
This feels like standing just a little too close to a bonfire. From a distance its warmth and light entrances you – pulling you closer and closer until suddenly the heat is lapping dangerously at your skin and the flames are blinding. There is no comfort here, no safe haven. The fire is big and bright and just a little bit out of control. It wants to devour you, and it does not care if you get burned.
Some days I feel brave. Some days I can sneak up and bask in the fire’s warmth. Some days I forget what it’s like to be burned.
This is not one of those days.