This set of spanking related questions made the rounds a number of months back. I have split the meme into five parts so as not to overwhelm you (I’m thoughtful like that) and will be posting them between other posts on more cohesive topics. So without further ado… my declarations on the state and practice of consensual spanking (part one of five):
1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire?
Inside please! Force me out into a cold woodshed and you can bet that my mind will be focused on me freezing and not the lovely spanking to come. A crackling fire, however, sets the perfect stage for a sweet and loving spanking. Draped across my partner’s lap, each sharp swat soothed with gentle caresses… mmm, yes please.
2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private?
Many of my hottest fantasies involve being dominated and spanked in public (and by public I mean amongst vanilla people, not just a kinky party or setting). There’s just something completely sexy about making yourself that vulnerable. Outside the realm of fantasy however, I’m much more of a private person. Spanking can be light and playful, but it is often intensely personal and I prefer to keep that between myself and my partner.
3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked?
Both of these options certainly have their merits, but I don’t think I’d be writing a spanking blog if my answer wasn’t to be spanked! That said, fantasies allow me to safely go places I don’t think I’d ever journey in actual play and provide a safe way explore emotional needs and responses. To me, both the fantasy and the physical act are necessary for a healthy, well-rounded spanking life. After all, if I had no fantasies I probably wouldn’t be in the position of wanting to be spanked anyway 😉
4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker’s pleasure?
Humiliation is a majorly hard limit for me. I enjoy a little light embarrassment as much as the next girl – after all it sets the tone for a great spanking – but the moment it crosses over into humiliation all bets are off. It’s also very important for me to know that my partner is enjoying himself during and after a spanking. You might think that’s self-explanatory, but I often need to hear it anyway. You see, no matter how hard I try I just can’t fathom what it is you spankers get out of the whole spanking thing. As such, I often feel greedy or selfish enjoying a spanking and need some assurance that the other person enjoyed it too!
5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand. Unless I’m feeling very small, then I like to be held down and thoroughly spanked with a brush. I should confess that I’ve never actually been spanked by a hairbrush (how have I managed that??), but I’ve made very good acquaintance with a number of bath brushes.
6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? I guess it depends on the situation. Canes are well suited to a more ritualized experience, which can certainly have its place. Belts I find to be more casual and intimate. Mostly I prefer the latter.
7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Riding crop please. They’re just a bit more versatile – you can strike with the tip or the length of the crop, and employ more variation in the strength of the strokes.
8. Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I love having my hands cuffed, and enjoy this in many spankings. I’m much less thrilled about having my legs tied – either down or apart – and this is enough to send me into a very different and often scary headspace. I often find it easier to take spankings when I am not tied down, as I need to maintain some focus on staying reasonably still. When I’m restrained and I don’t have that to focus on, I experience the spanking more acutely, I think.
9. Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Aroused. I don’t have a problem with crying during a spanking, and I often do. But I don’t like tears to be a focus of the spanking – i.e. “I’m going to spank you until you cry” because I focus so much on that that I find it difficult to actually let go and cry. Tears will come when and if they come, and often there’s no rhyme or reason to why I sometimes cry and sometimes don’t. Threatening to spank me until I’m aroused… well now there’s a plan I can get behind 😉
10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I personally love bruises and welts, the lasting physical reminders of an intimate experience. This seems to be a good thing, as I bruise very easily so they’re difficult to avoid.
Stay tuned for the next installment…